24 Hours of Harry Potter
by Unca Pafoo
Summary: 24 hours of oneshots, explanation inside! For twenty-four hours, I shall proceed to bash 24 Harry Potter characters chosen at random out of a hat. And I hope that I don't pick Luna, because she is my favourite. Based on a bet with charcoalbrumby...
1. Hermione Eight PM

**Hi, everyone! Due to a bet with my co-writer, charcoalbrumby, I have decided to write a 24 hour fic!  
**

**For those of you who don't know what a 24 hour fic is, allow me to enlighten you. I have to write 24 one-shots every hour, that can be as short as 30 words, and post one every hour. Most of these one-shots are silly ones. **

**My fics will all be bashing the Harry Potter characters, even the ones that aren't usually bashed. **

**So, without further ado, here is Eight Thirty PM!**

Hermione sat in the Gryffindor common room, reading _Advanced Enchanting: Theory _by Leonard Spinnelding. She turned the page and suddenly, the enormous book simply fell apart in her hands.

She sat there staring at the former book before suddenly jackknifing to her feet and screaming at the top of her lungs. All of Gryffindor Tower turned to stare at her as she collapsed and started to sob.

Harry cautiously walked up to her and said, "Um, Hermione… what's wrong?"

Hermione bawled, "Th-the b-book! It j-just fell apart! Madame Pince will be so mad at me, and the books will hate me, and I won't be able to learn anything from them, and I'll lose my magic, and… and…" She trailed off into incoherent sobs.

Harry bent to look at the book. He tapped it and said politely, "Hey, could you please turn yourself back into… erm… a book-like book?"

The book suddenly snapped back together and said in a jovial voice, "No worries, lad. And you," Its pages seemed to glare at Hermione, "You have no brain! Did you really read me? I stated quite clearly that I was enchanted to fall apart and repair myself on the previous page! Do you actually read?"

Hermione looked shocked. Then horrified. Then confused. Then angry that a book was insulting her reading ability. Then she laid into the book, shrieking like a madwoman and ripping it apart.

She sat back, breathing rather heavily, when the book bounced back up as a whole and screamed, "Thy besmircher of books! I take thy reading ability for ever, and SO MOTE IT BE!"

Hermione looked a bit stunned. She opened a book lying beside her and tried to read it, then collapsed into tears once more when she realised that she couldn't. Harry patted her shoulder awkwardly and said, "There, there… they're just books…" Which, of course, made her bawl louder still.

**Charcoalbrumby, I WILL finish this twenty-four hour fic! You mark my words! *McGonagall-like glare***


	2. Krum Nine PM

**Hey! I'm back! Sorry 'bout that. I couldn't update because my Internet died.**

**Aaand… Krum is the lucky one! **

Krum leaned forward and pushed his Firebolt as fast as he could. The sounds of the crowd watching the World Cup filled his ears, making him give an infinitesimally small grin. It soon faded as his head gave yet another throb and his vision blurred slightly from tiredness. He lost sight of the elusive Snitch again. Krum swore quietly; it wasn't as if anyone could hear him.

"And Krum starts swearing from frustration! Gee, that Snitch sure is feisty this… um… week! Remember, everybody, go catch a few… -yawn- winks of sleep, 'cause it looks as if this game's gonna go on for a while!"

_Well, I'll be damned. They CAN hear me._

Krum rubbed his eyes and resumed circling high in the air. The Irish Seeker - what was his name? Lynch, that's right - was dipping slowly up and down as he nearly fell into a deep sleep.

The blasted game had been going on for a whole week now, and the Snitch still hadn't been sighted. Many of the crowd members were frustrated and had started throwing fruit. The Irish team had dodged them, disgusted looks on their faces, but the Bulgarian team knew better. Krum felt like he had been living on fruit for his entire life, and he resolved never to eat fruit again. Especially bananas. He had nearly choked on three bananas during the game.

Krum glanced over at the audience and saw that they were already glaring again. One of them was Harry Potter, the famous Boy-Who-Lived. Krum locked eyes with the younger boy, and Potter glared. Suddenly, the black-haired boy jumped up and placed his wand to his throat.

Potter mouthed something which Krum couldn't make out, but he could guess. _Sonorus._

"ALRIGHT! I'M BLOODY SICK OF THIS GAME, AND IF KRUM AND LYNCH CAN'T CATCH THE THRICE-DAMNED SNITCH, THEN I BLOODY WELL WILL! _ACCIO FIREBOLT!_"

Lynch free-fell towards the ground, screaming like a little girl. Krum felt a brush of disgust as he dived and caught the pathetic Irish Seeker. Lynch sobbed silently as Krum lowered him to the ground and rose back into the air again, watching the Potter boy.

Catching the Snitch was HIS job! Victor Krum was the best Seeker in the world, and he would get the Snitch if it was the last thing he ever did! No fourteen-year-old boy would beat _the _Victor Krum!

Krum shot into a steep dive, confident that his Wronski's Feint would leave Potter sprawled in the mud. He glanced back to make sure that Potter was right behind him, then panicked.

The Boy-Who-Lived had gone into a similar steep dive… after a golden flash of light.

That damned Snitch.

Krum suddenly realised that he was a little too close to the ground. He plowed straight into the pitch, sending up a cloud of grass and dirt. Coughing, he sat up and stared disbelievingly as Potter held up the Golden Snitch in triumph.

The crowd went mad. Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, had caught the Snitch! He had beaten Victor Krum! He was the new best Seeker in the World, and Krum was second.

The Bulgarian teenager moaned and flopped back besides his broom, wishing that this was all a dream. He nearly believed it, too.

Until a banana smacked him in the side of the head.


	3. Harry Ten PM

**To make up for posting the last one really late, I shall now post this one as fast as I can. Sorry, charcoal, I ain't givin' up yet!**

**Good old Harry Potter! The Boy-Who-Lived, the Man-Who-Defeated, Saint Potter, the Chosen One, the Chosen Boy, Parry Hotter, Undesirable Number One… I'm gonna have loads of trouble finding stuff to criticize you on. Dammit!**

Harry moaned, curled up in a ball under his quilt. He was lying in the Gryffindor common room, feeling bad for letting the Quidditch Team down by being in the hospital when he was sick.

Ron trooped up the stairs and saw Harry. He said, concerned, "Hey, what's wrong, mate?"

Harry mumbled, "I let the Quidditch team down…"

Ron flopped on his mattress and yawned, "Yeah, well, we still won the House Cup. Never thought I'd say this, but, who cares about Quidditch now?"

Harry just turned his back to Ron and moaned, "It's all my fault…"

**Second Year**

Harry stared aimlessly at the fire in the Common Room. Hermione saw him looking depressed and sat down beside him. Gently, she said, "Harry, what's the matter?"

Harry looked up and stared at her. He said, "You got petrified. Because of me."

Hermione sighed and said, "I don't blame you, Harry. The basilisk was terrorizing the whole school. It had to be stopped, and I was just the unlucky one."

Harry looked away and said morosely, "It's my fault you got petrified. You were trying to find out the information for me."

She got up and left, trying to find a way to convince Harry that it was not his fault. He looked after her and sighed, "Now it's my fault that she ran away…"

**Third**

Harry buried his face in his hands. Ron and Hermione sat down beside him and said, nearly simultaneously, "Harry, NOW what's wrong?"

He groaned. "Professor Lupin is leaving because of me. I led you guys down to Hagrid's, led Hermione down to the Shrieking Shack, got Ron's leg broken and Professor Lupin's secret spilled."

They both got up and went into their respective dormitories. There was nothing they could do when Harry was in his "It's all my fault" mood…

**Fourth**

Harry unpacked his trunk after arriving up at his dormitory and sighed. It was the beginning of yet another Hogwarts year. And, no doubt, something would happen because of him.

Ron arrived in the dorm and said, "Hey mate, what's…" Then he noticed Harry's expression.

Hermione also came in and started saying, "Harry, we couldn't find you and we…" She, too, saw Harry's face.

Hermione started screaming in frustration. "IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, WHATEVER YOU THINK IT IS! DON'T YOU GET IT? IT'S ALL CHANCE! NOTHING HAPPENED SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE OF YOU! NOW, IT _IS _YOUR FAULT, BECAUSE WE'RE BOTH SICK OF YOUR "IT'S MY FAULT" ATTITUDE!"

Ron and Hermione stormed out, practically steaming in frustration.

Harry looked after them mournfully and said, "I knew that something my fault would happen."

**That was… weirdly tough. And satisfying to rant about Harry's "It's my fault"ness.**

**See you in an hour! Mark my words, charcoal!**


	4. Dudley Eleven PM

**Oh, I'm going to have so much fun with this! You are in deep, deep fan fiction trouble, my dear pig in a wig… **

Dudley grinned as he punched the little eleven-year-old in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. The boy wheezed and gasped as Dudley's gang laughed cruelly. "Please, I'll give you my money! Please!"

Big D swelled up with arrogance as he tucked the coins and notes into his pocket. Piers Polkiss, his gang "deputy", snarled, "Don't you forget, Jaffers. Big D rules these streets!"

"Oh, the hell he doesn't. Come on… what's your name?" The little boy looked up, still gasping slightly for air.

In front of him stood a thin teenage boy. His unruly black hair was sticking up in all directions. Above his vivid green eyes was a strange scar.

The teenager smiled slightly and gently pulled Jaffers to his feet. He managed to whisper, "Ch-Charlie Jaffers. You're Harry Potter, the one that D-Dudley and his gang used to beat up at school."

Harry nodded, smile fading away slightly. He said, "Yes. But I've changed since then."

Dudley laughed nastily and cracked his knuckles, advancing with his gang. "Changed, have you, Potty? Oh well, it's still fairly easy to beat you up."

Harry looked calmly at Dudley and said, "You think so? All right. You and I, have a fight, right here. No weapons or protection. Just fists against fists."

Dudley faltered and said, "No… none of _that _stuff?"

Harry grinned maliciously and promised, "None of _that _stuff, Duddykins."

The stocky boy took a deep breath and nodded. Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out a small grey water bottle. As he downed it, Harry gave a grimace. Dudley squinted slightly and caught a glance of a label on the bottle. _Re'em_ something. Re'em? What was that?

Harry threw the bottle into a nearby bin. Dudley saw a trace of red inside the bottle. The black-haired teenager grinned and said, "Just needed a little drink. Good juice, that."

Piers yelled out, "Face each other!" They both did so. "Three… two… one… FIGHT!"

Harry just stood there, grinning at Dudley. The older boy snarled and leapt forward, fists aiming for Harry's nose. Harry waited until he was close enough, and casually swatted Dudley aside.

Dudley flew into the bin, making a loud crashing sound. He tried to stand up, but failed. How was Harry, the puny teenager, doing this? Dudley staggered upright, head spinning. For a second, he looked into the bin and saw the bottle again. _Re'em Blood, owl delivery from Slug and Jiggers Apothecary_. What the hell?

Harry strolled over, still grinning that infuriating grin. He picked up Dudley with one hand and started spinning him around. As Dudley whirled around like a top, Harry murmured in his ear, "No magic, Duddykins. Just some very interesting blood from an animal. Now, I'm getting bored and I want to end this quickly. What say you, Dinky Duddydums?"

Suddenly, Harry leaned forward and threw Dudley straight at a brick wall. His thick head smacked against the hard bricks, and Dudley let out a small moan before he drowned in unconsciousness.

Harry bent down and rifled through Dudley's pockets, retrieving a lot of money. He handed Charlie's money back, gave them all a friendly grin and wandered off whistling. Charlie quickly ran back home to tell his parents of his good fortune

Behind Harry, the heavyweight boxing champion slowly stirred to his senses. As Dudley opened his eyes, he swore angrily and shouted, "I'll kill that moron, I will!"

Piers slowly said, "Uh, Big D? You got a giant bruise on your head."

Dudley reached up and felt the bruise. He burst into tears and bawled, "Mummy!'

**I don't like Dudley. He had a few minutes as a human in Deathly Hallows, but that's it. **

**Hmm… I just took the meaning of "bashing" up to a whole new level… bashing by bashing! See you in an hour, everyone, and thanks for following!**


	5. Molly Twelve AM

**Well, here's a tricky one! I like Molly. She's a nice, motherly character, but she DOES have a few points that I can inflate and pick on mercilessly…**

**I'm kinda doing this in secret. Luckily, tomorrow's a Saturday so I can afford to stay up. Thanks for staying up with me, charcoal! I'll win this if it's the last thing I do! *evil grin***

Harry set down his luggage in the hallway of 3 Grimmauld Place. Molly hurried up to Harry and enveloped him in a giant hug. "Hello, Harry! You're looking thinner every year! They're not feeding you very well at your relatives, are they? Well, no matter!"

Harry gasped for air as his face turned blue. Molly squeezed him tightly for a few more seconds, then let him go. Harry crumpled on the floor, puffing desperately for air. Molly looked down at him, eyes wide, then scooped him up and bodily carried him into the kitchen.

She bustled around the kitchen, waving her wand madly and preparing what looked like an entire table of food for Harry. As she worked, she screamed up towards the twin's bedroom, "FRED AND GEORGE! WHAT have you done to Harry? He looks DEAD on his feet! He went blue and collapsed! Ohhh, you two had better get down here RIGHT NOW and tell me what you did!"

Harry groaned and doubled over, clutching at his ears. He was sure that his eardrums had burst. To top it all off, he was still air-deprived.

Molly hurried over with a giant bowl of soup and started ladling it down Harry's throat. As she worked, she soothed, "It's alright, Harry. I'll have the twins down to get rid of whatever they did to you, see? Now eat up!"

Harry choked on the boiling hot soup, his face returning to its previous tinge of blue. Molly ignored it all and started forcing a whole steak and kidney pie down Harry's throat. Suddenly, Sirius entered and saw Molly feeding Harry to death.

Sirius whipped out his wand and shouted, "Petrificus Totalus! Anapneo!"

Molly Weasley's limbs snapped together and she fell slowly backwards, toppling to the floor. Harry sighed in relief as all the forced food was quickly cleared and sent to his stomach. He grinned at his godfather and said fervently, "Thanks, Sirius. Thought she was going to kill me then."

Molly finally broke the charm and heaved herself to her feet. Glaring, she snarled at Sirius, "What do you think you were doing?"

Harry interrupted. "Saving me from being fed to death by you, Mrs. Weasley. I'm sorry, but it's the truth."

The matriarch of the Weasley family stared and mouthed words, but no sound came out.

The not-so-starved teenager laughed cheerfully and dragged his luggage up the stairs with the aid of Sirius, leaving a gaping Molly Weasley behind.


	6. Moody One AM

**Okay. Now I'm kinda cranky, 'cause I'm… *sigh* getting sleepy. So this is going to be a short one, and probably not all that good either.**

**We have Mad-Eye Moody to humiliate now!**

Mad-Eye slowly clanked his way up the steep flight of stairs. They were warded to make sure that if the person walking up them didn't have a wooden step every two steps, the stairs would flatten and send the intruder sliding into the carpet. Right where someone would slide onto the carpet was a small green pattern of dragons; if pressed, this would open a trapdoor and send the person tumbling into a prison cell, only able to be released by Mad-Eye Moody from the outside.

Also hanging on the wall besides the stairs was a set of Foe-Glasses and regular-looking mirrors. The simple mirrors scanned the face of the person walking up the stairs to make sure that they had one magical eye. If they didn't, magical pepper spray would shoot out and blind the intruder as he or she walked up the stairs.

Mad-Eye's whole house was warded similarly with booby traps that only he knew how to avoid. The grizzled old man heaved a sigh of contentment as he finally reached his bedroom and fell fast asleep, exhausted from the day of Death Eater hunting.

The next day, Mad-Eye clunked his way back down the stairs and Flooed to the Ministry of Magic, hoping that they had some new Death Eater reports.

"Ah, Auror Moody. Just the man I was looking for. Come on in and have a chat!' The Minister of Magic said jovially, gesturing to a door.

Mad-Eye stalked cautiously closer. Whipping out his wand, he cast several spells that he deemed necessary, before he finally entered.

The Minister sat down at a table and leaned forward conspiratorially. "Auror Moody, we have received a tip-off from one of our contacts of a possible Death Eater gathering. However, in order to get close enough to them, you have to change your appearance."

Mad-Eye grunted. "Just give me the Polyjuice Potion, then.'

The Minister shook his head and said, "Oh, no. We need you to be you, except with a few differences. A new eye, for example, and a new leg. Perhaps a few adjustments to your nose would also suit this mission. Will you accept these changes?"

A few hours later, Mad-Eye walked out of St Mungos with a new nose, new eye and a new leg. He entered his home to pick up a few things before he left on the mission.

As he walked up the stairs, his paranoia was triggered. The stairs suddenly flattened and pepper spray covered the old Auror. Mad-Eye roared like a wounded lion as he landed in the prison cell that only he could open, and only from the outside.

Days passed. An automatic food supply was sent down to Mad-Eye as he tried to work out how to unravel his own wards. Finally, 1 week, 3 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes and 23 seconds later, Mad-Eye was freed from his own prison.

Of course, karma's lesson on paranoia only made Mad-Eye more paranoid than ever before - except with an added paranoia of paranoia.

**Even I can tell in my sleep-deprived state that that is one horrible chapter. Ah well, stuff it all. I'm going to take a nap!**


	7. Oliver Two AM

**I concede defeat. I cannot stay awake for 24 hours, charcoalbrumby. *feels like screaming in frustration***

**I took a nap and never woke up again! GRR! AND I wasn't allowed caffeine or an alarm clock! *sigh* I'll still finish my 24 hours. Next up, Oliver Wood!**

Oliver stomped up the stairs in Gryffindor Tower. Reaching the boy's dorms, he bellowed, "OI! Quidditch practice, Gryffindor team!"

He received three moans in return. Oliver ignored them and entered the 3rd year dorm, ripped Harry's curtains open and yelled, "Up, Seeker! We've got to practice to win the match against Slytherin!"

Then, the Gryffindor Keeper marched back down into the Common Room and stood, feet planted firmly, waiting for his unwilling team.

A few minutes later, the pitiful Gryffindor team slouched into the Common Room, yawning and rubbing their eyes. Fred or George said, "Bloody hell, Oliver, it's 3 in the morning!"

Oliver just beamed and said, practically bouncing with excitement, "That's right! Our new training programme. There's no way that the other teams are practicing yet!"

Without waiting for a reply, he flung open the portrait and marched out. The team stared at each other. Harry swayed on the spot and said blearily, "No bloody way am I going out at 3 in the freezing morning to listen to Oliver's lectures! I'm going on STRIKE!"

Katie Bell sighed, "Me too, Harry. Oliver can make his speeches to himself if he really wants to."

Muttering agreements, the entire team stumbled back up to their respective dormitories and collapsed in their beds, dead to the world once more.

Meanwhile, Oliver was already down in the changing rooms. Without turning around, he pulled on his Quidditch robes, fumbled around a bit and found a pile of diagrams. He started lecturing about his new tactics, never noticing that his team wasn't there.

When he finally finished, he turned around and said with a relish, "So, any ques…" The Captain suddenly realized that there was nobody.

"BLOODY HELL!"


	8. Luna Three AM

**Ok, I had a bit of a mix-up. Twelve AM was supposed to be Molly Weasley, but I accidentally posted Moody instead. So, Twelve AM has been changed back to Molly Weasley. One PM was when I was supposed to take a nap, but I ended up napping at Twelve PM. So, very confused…**

**I posted Moody(One AM) and Oliver (Two AM) at the same time (Eleven AM). Now it's Twelve PM, but I'm posting Three AM. Confusion!**

**Sadly, I picked Luna. I'm going to have the most trouble writing this, since Luna's my favourite character. **

… **I can't find anything to criticize Luna on! YAY! I'll just write a fluffy fic then.**

Luna sat very still on the giant rock, staring down with her enormous eyes. The object of her fascination was a small, rabbit-like creature. It had dark blue fur and a small crumpled horn in the middle of its forehead.

Luna very slowly leaned down and held her hand in front of the Crumple-Horned Snorkack. It peered at the small piece of bread in her hand, sniffed it and gulped it down. The girl smiled dreamily and gently picked the creature up.

It wriggled a bit in Luna's arms, then relaxed and burrowed into the light purple jacket that she wore. Luna giggled slightly and stood up, making her way back to Hogwarts.

On the way, she encountered the Golden Trio. They were very lucky to have such a deep bond, Luna thought. Although Hermione only believed in proven things, and Ronald thought she was mad. She quickly tucked the Snorkack into her jacket, hiding it from view.

As they drew closer, Luna said absentmindedly, "Hello, Harry Potter, Ronald, Hermione."

They chorused, "Er… hi, Luna." Ron then added, "What were you doing in the Forbidden Forest, Loony?" Hermione elbowed him for calling Luna Loony, but she didn't mind.

Luna said, "I was looking for Crumple-Horned Snorkacks, Ronald."

This brought mixed reactions.

Ron scoffed and said, "Yeah, right, Loony. They don't exist."

Hermione sighed and lectured, "Luna, Crumple-Horned Snorkacks don't exist, I've never seen them mentioned in any book."

Harry grinned, not in mockery but in curiosity and playfulness. He said, "Find any, Luna?" Luna smiled vaguely, remembering why she liked Harry the most out of the three.

She continued smiling at them all and answered. "They do exist, Ronald. Hermione, they aren't in any book because no one wants to look for them and mention them. And yes, Harry, I found one." She gently pulled out the Snorkack and it started nibbling on a strand of her dirty blonde hair.

Ron and Hermione's jaws dropped. They stared at Luna, shock written all over their faces. Harry grinned even wider and said, "Where did you find it?"

Luna started wandering off towards the Black Lake, Harry beside her. She said, "Oh, in the Forbidden Forest. Did you know, they like bread?"


	9. Pince Four AM

**Right**. **Through calculations, I have discovered that to finish my twenty-four hours, I must stay up until Five AM on Sunday. I am determined to complete this task! **

**As an added bonus, I now have another bet from charcoalbrumby that I can't do it. I can and I will! However, charcoalbrumby is allowed to go sleep whenever she wants because she's sick. AND I still don't get an alarm clock or caffeine. **

**Aww, poor Madam Pince is next… this one's pretty short.**

Madam Pince sat at her desk, glaring at the students in her library. Suddenly, she heard a loud bang from outside, screaming and laughter.

The librarian stood up abruptly and started to storm outside, screaming, "NO DISTURBANCES AROUND THE LIBRA-" A large pink Catherine wheel bowled her over and rolled around in the library.

Pince shrieked in fury, "_Evanesco!"_ The wheel wobbled, then split into ten more that whizzed around the bookshelves. A few books caught on fire and Madam Pince went into deep shock.

She sprinted around the library, screaming, "_Evanseco! Stupefy!_" The Catherine wheels multiplied and multiplied. A few dragons joined the library firework party. Madam Pince finally lost it when a few fireworks connected and exploded into a dozen flying silver pigs.

The old wizened librarian collapsed against a shelf on Magical Bonds, sobbing wildly. As fireworks gallivanted cheerfully around her, the students cheered and threw their books in the air to celebrate no classes.

Madam Pince eventually recovered, but she always had a fear of fire and pigs after the event. She retired early to go live in London, where both fire and pigs were very uncommon, and firework-free libraries were everywhere.


	10. Ginny Five AM

**Ooh, Gin-Gin. I honestly don't think that she's an airhead, so I can't really bash her for that. Hmm… maybe I can… This is definitely fluffy and contains my favourite pairing.**

… "EHMAGAWD! It's Harry Potter, my future hubby! Ooh, I'm going to go to Hogwarts, and Harry Potter will instantly fall for me, and we'll be together for the rest of our lives! I'll be his only girlfriend ever, and when I graduate, he'll marry me!"

Luna smiled vaguely at Ginny and continued to thread Butterbeer caps onto another new necklace, humming a strange, lilting tune all the while. Ginny continued to daydream as the two 11-year-old girls sat in Ginny's room. Harry had just arrived at the Burrow before his second year.

"And once I marry him, I'll be so rich! And we'll go live in a beautiful, romantic manor, and did you know, he's the youngest Seeker in a hundred years? WOW!"

Luna just kept smiling, pushing down her wishful thinking and thinking instead, _Ginny could be in for a rather deep shock. The Nargles seem to have clouded her mind, she's usually better than this…_

**A few years later**

"Harry? I've given up on him ages ago, Luna. Remember? I'm with Michael Corner now. He's quite nice, actually. Harry's no good as a boyfriend, compared to Michael."

Luna smiled and nodded, not really listening to the fourth year Gryffindor. She was engrossed in her own daydream of a certain boy.

**Another year later**

"Michael Corner? That moron? He's so jealous of everyone and everything. I'm with a far better boyfriend now. You know, Dean Thomas."

_How does she go through boyfriends so fast?_ Thought Luna. _How did she forget HIM so easily? I know I wouldn't have. I know I still haven't._

**The next year**

"Oh, Luna, I kissed Harry! In my bedroom! And I thought he had broken up with me! And he said the most romantic things! Dean Thomas and Michael Corner can't hold a candle up to him."

Luna sighed and swallowed the Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans she had in her mouth (zucchini and salad dressing). She looked at Ginny and said, "Ginny, don't you think that you're a bit too irregular for Harry? He needs a steady girlfriend, not one that goes through three boys and one crush in three years."

Ginny stared at Luna, then laughed. "Me? Irregular? You've never even had a single boyfriend, Luna."

Luna lowered her eyes to the Quibbler edition she had in her lap. The front cover boasted an impressive drawing that she had done herself, of Harry with his wand out and his Patronus bursting forth from it. He looked determined and resolute. Luna closed her eyes and tried not to let Ginny see the hurt in them. Luna never had a boyfriend, but she had a crush. And her crush was with somebody else.

**The next year (again)**

Luna smiled at Harry as he gave her a hug and said, "See you tonight, Luna!" She waved slightly as he Disapparated, the bracelet he had given her giving a slight tinkle. She looked down at it, fingering the lightning bolt, the crescent moon, the stag and the hare. Harry Potter's girlfriend sighed as she returned to listening to Ginny's rant.

"It's not like I care that you're Harry's girlfriend, Luna. I've got Neville now. I don't care about Harry anymore. Do I seem like I do? Huh?" Luna looked up to meet Ginny's jealousy-filled eyes. She said softly, "You do. And you know it."

Luna got up and Disapparated to the Quibbler Office, leaving a dumbstruck and jealous Ginny behind.


	11. Fred and George Six AM

**Oh, ye gods above, I have no idea how to bash Fred and George! This isn't even a completely bashing fic anymore. I have the choice of a)Bashing, b)Humiliating and c)Fluff. Oh well. I'll go with fluff. And random. **

**NOTE: Fred did NOT do… that sad thing in the end of Deathly Hallows. **

Fred and George sat in the back of their shop, Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, bent over a pile of papers. Business was failing as the twins started to run out of good ideas. The twins were growing mature, and they didn't like it one bit.

"I think we should make a Hallucinating Hat next. Charmed to take the shape of whatever hat the wearer usually wears, makes them have wild hallucinations."

"No, George. I still think Misspelling Quills are the best!"

Suddenly, there was a huge puff of smoke. The twins jumped back, eyes wide with shock.

Four fairly-solid looking teenage ghosts had appeared. The first was a plump little boy, with small eyes that darted around the room. Mousy brown hair covered his head in a flat mop. He looked terrified but exhilarated to be there with the other three.

Beside the brown-haired boy stood another boy. He was fairly thin, but in a lean, tough way. He had dark brown hair that was, strangely, showing a tiny trace of grey. He looked very serious.

Fred and George's attention was drawn to two boys who seemed to be the leaders of the small group. The first was tall and had wavy, black hair, striking grey eyes and an air of elegance. He thrust his hands into his pockets, leaning against the air.

The other boy was strangely familiar. Fred suddenly gasped, "H-Harry?"

The elegant boy laughed, "Not quite, Fred. This isn't Prongslet, this is his father. Prongs himself!"

George stared at the boy who had called the Harry-esque boy Prongs. He stuttered, "S-Sirius! Wait… Prongs? PRONGS? This is THE Prongs, one of the famous Marauders! And you just called Harry Prongslet!"

Fred continued, "Harry's the son of Prongs! So that means that you're James Potter? And Sirius is Padfoot…"

Harry's father grinned and bowed. He said with a flourish, "James Potter, also known as Prongs, proud member of the Marauders."

Sirius gently kicked James, who pretended to roll on the floor with agony. Sirius then added, "Sirius Black, also known as Padfoot. Way better Marauder than the fool rolling on the ground." James let out a mock-moan and Sirius added, "That's right, bow at the feet of Padfoot, Prongs."

As James leapt up and began tussling with Sirius, the weary-looking boy stepped forward and said, "Remus Lupin, known as Moony and the mature one of the Marauders. And this is Peter Pettigrew or Wormtail, who betrayed us all. But we forgive him because we figured out that he was under a curse."

James pushed Sirius away and panted, "We're here to tell you that you're doing pretty well as pranksters, but your ideas are getting worse and worse."

Peter piped up, "So we decided to… um… magic a bunch of new stuff for you to use!"

As they dissolved away, Sirius shouted, "Have fun!"

They stared as the shelves suddenly filled up with brilliant prank items. Fred said, "I think that we should build…"

"A shrine to the Marauders…"

"In our front window!"

Fred and George clinked Butterbeer bottles and said, "To the Marauders!"

**That was not bashing at all. I'm sorry, I just couldn't do it!**


	12. Colin Seven AM

**No offence, but I never really liked Colin Creevey. He's too much of a stalker for me… short one, since I forgot to start writing this one until _:47.**

"Hello, Harry!" Colin beamed and snapped yet another photo.

Harry practically snarled, "Hello, Colin."

Colin nearly went into spasms of delight. Harry Potter had said hello to him! He ran around Harry, taking millions of photos.

Finally, Harry couldn't take it anymore. He bellowed with frustration, reached out and grabbed Colin's camera. He then proceeded to stomp it to bits. Harry breathed a sigh of relief, swung onto his broom and took off as fast as he could for Quidditch practice.

Colin fell to his knees and sobbed over his former camera.


	13. Centaur Eight AM

**This for all you centaurs out there! YOU AND YOUR STAR OBSESSIONS!**

Firenze trotted over the thick mat of leaves and branches. It was a cloudless night, and all the centaurs were gather together to read the stars.

As Firenze reached the Forbidden Forest's largest clearing, he heard nervous mutters. His tail flicked involuntarily as he slipped into the crowd of centaurs, staring up at the sky.

Suddenly, a great white centaur reared up and bellowed, "SILENCE! The stars have sent us a strange message. For the past few weeks, the heavens above have decided to tell us…"

"… not to trust the stars."

There was a giant commotion. Centaurs reared and shouted at each other, panicking at the thought that they could not trust their beloved stars. If the message was true, then the message was false, along with every other message in the past, present and future. If the message was wrong, then why were the stars lying?

Firenze backed away from the freaked-out centaurs. Now would be a good time to abandon the intricate life of the heavens, and to go work as a Divination professor for Professor Dumbledore.

After all, Firenze was pretty sure that house elves had a large supply of carrots and sugar cubes.


	14. Lockhart Nine AM

**Another gonna-have-lots-of-fun moment! Good old Lockhart, always so… so bashable!**

**Gilderoy Lockhart - Fabulous or Fraud?**

_This reporter has recently received information that the famous Gilderoy Lockhart is nothing but a pretence. Using Memory charms and a dazzling smile, Lockhart has set himself up as a remarkable wizard who can dispose of Dark creatures with a single flick of his wand._

_Our new information has shown that Lockhart, in fact, has practically no magical talent at all. While he wipes the memories of righteous wizards and witches and writes books on "his" fights, the five-time winner of the Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award struggles with a simple Disarming spell._

Lockhart trembled inside his house as a tide of previous fans snarled insults and pounded on his door. They had all read the Daily Prophet article and were ready to murder the fake object of their fantasies.

He let out a low whimper as one fan started pounding on a window and a tiny piece of glass shattered. Waving his wand haphazardly, Lockhart finally managed to cast an Imperturbable charm on the door and windows.

Suddenly, several loud cracks echoed around the house and Lockhart screamed like a little girl confronted with a rat. Several witches and wizards held him at wand-point, their faces grim. Lockhart immediately recognized them.

They were the people whose memories he had wiped.

"P-Please, I needed to do it! I'm s-sorry!"

"Too late, Lockhart. You should have said that ten years ago. I had to relearn seven years of Defence Against the Dark Arts when you finished with me!"

"NOOO!"

The following scene has been edited as it is too mature for the rating of these one-shots.


	15. Cho Ten AM

**Eugh. I don't like Cho, and I feel a tiny bit slap-happy. So, here we go with insanity!**

**I am not being sexist. I am merely portraying Cho as the (vastly unfair) stereotypical girl. Now charcoalbrumby won't kill me and I can continue writing! :D**

**AND I'm not being racist. I'm just digging for ways of saying "Cho" without… saying "Cho". If that makes sense. Which it doesn't.**

Cho bounced up to Harry and said brightly, "Hi, Harry! Would you like to go to the Yule Ball with me? I'm sure we'll have lots of fun!" She shifted closer to Harry, looking at him suggestively.

Harry looked rather uncomfortable. Cho ignored that and continued; he was just falling under her charm. "Come on, Harry. You better owl Madam Malkin's now, before all her dress robes are bought out." She grabbed Harry's hand and started tugging him towards the Owlery.

Harry said awkwardly, "Um… not that I don't appreciate it, Cho, but I'm already going with someone else."

The Asian girl stopped short in her musings on Harry's robes. He didn't want to go with her? He was going with somebody else?

Suddenly, a dreamy voice said out of nowhere, "Hello, Harry. How was Transfiguration?"

Harry broke into a relieved smile and said, "Good, thanks, Luna. Ready for the Yule Ball?"

The petite blonde smiled back and said, "Yes, of course. It's really rather nice that you asked me to go with you."

Cho gasped and nearly yelled, "You're going with LOONY LOVEGOOD?" Luna didn't look perturbed, but Harry saw her hand twitch slightly upwards, where she had stored her wand behind her ear.

Harry stepped forward, eyes hard as jade, and said in a low but firm voice, "_Luna _Lovegood, Cho, is going to the ball with me. And I'm not going to change my decision."

Cho's eyes welled up with tears and she burst out into sobs. When Harry continued standing there resolutely, she realized that he wasn't falling for it and began sobbing for real.

Harry sighed and took Luna's hand. As they walked away, Cho heard Luna say, "…mismatched socks, one of the gnomes in our garden is quite obsessed with them…"

Cho wondered why Harry bothered with such an insane girl as she continued to wail in the middle of the hallway. Later that day, Filch would slip and slide along the same hallway, cursing whatever student befouled the castle with _tears_.


	16. Pomfrey Eleven AM

**Pomfrey's nice. I don't want to harm Pomfrey, but I've still got to bash her somehow…**

**Thanks to all those who are following my 24 hours!**

Madam Pomfrey sighed as she organized her potions supply. The Gryffindor-Slytherin Quidditch match was coming up and people were hexing furiously. Those Slytherins sure knew a few harmful hexes.

One of her patients moaned; it was Dennis Creevey from the House of Lions. He had tentacles growing where his hair used to be, the poor boy. Madam Pomfrey hurried over and poured another potion down his throat. He groaned again and tried to sit up.

Colin Creevey, Dennis' older brother, rushed into the Hospital Wing. He shouted, "The match's on today!" Suddenly, nearly all the students in the Hospital Wing sat up. They started taunting each other, yelling and jeering. Several slid out of their beds and stumbled out to attend the match.

Madam Pomfrey was furious. She screamed, "Silence! No running in the Hospital Wing! All students back in your beds, NOW!"

Everybody ignored her and continued trying to get to the Qudditch pitch. Several of them helped the younger and more injured members of their own house out, yelling their house name as loudly as they could. Madam Pomfrey gritted her teeth and started casting Full Body-Binds.

Suddenly, everyone who hadn't been caught by Madam Pomfrey came pouring back in. They all screamed, "_Petrificus Totalus!"_

As Dennis was carried out by Colin, he looked apologetically at the frozen Madam Pomfrey and muttered, "Sorry, miss. We have to get to the game."


	17. Kreacher Twelve PM

**I like Kreacher, but I can see his faults. And I can also see how to be evil to him. I'll refrain from bodily harm this time, though.**

Kreacher stalked the halls of the House of Black, muttering, "Mudbloods… besmirching the noble house of Black, my mistress's horrible turncoat son…"

Suddenly, Fred and George appeared beside Kreacher and yelled, "WE HAVE PROOF! The House of Black is a sham, they're all Muggleborns! Look, Kreacher!"

They showed the poor house elf the Black family tree and the blood status under each name, written obviously in blood. Family trees were only determined by writing on a charmed parchment with your own blood, so Kreacher knew that it was true.

Kreacher stared. Suddenly, he burst out into sobs. "The great house of Black is a lie! Kreacher has been working for Mudbloods!"

Fred and George patted him sympathetically on the back, then Disapparated back to their room. Once safe, they shared grins and high fives.

"Never knew he would fall for that, Gred."

"Just a little bit of ground up Blood Pops and water, Forge."

"How correct, genius brother-o'-mine."

"I got the brains, you got the looks."

"And we're both happy with that deal."

"Too right, Forge!"


	18. Filch One PM

**Filch is very interesting, I think. And I think I know a way to annoy him, too… cue Gred and Forge, second only to the Marauders!**

Hushed voices were discussing something in a secret passageway.

"Are you sure this will work, Fred?"

"Absolutely. Think of it as the biggest prank on Filch, George."

"Alright. Don't blame me if it goes wrong. _Bestia verto!_"

A few minutes later, George Weasley poked his head out of the side of the tapestry. He looked around, then whispered, "All clear, Fred."

A cat that resembled Mrs. Norris in every way padded out of the hidden passage. George leant down and bumped his hand and the cat's paw together, then quickly set off for Gryffindor Tower with a burlap bag in his arms.

Inside the bag was the real Mrs. Norris. She writhed wildly, trying to get free, but her yowls were muffled by a cloth gag and her limbs were tied firmly. George reached Gryffindor Tower and quickly slid the bag under his bed.

Meanwhile, Fred had taken the guise of Mrs. Norris for the night. He prowled around the school, completely ignoring the students who were out of bed. One stared in disbelief as Fred walked right past, ignoring the fact that the student was covering the Slytherin hourglass in graffiti. In fact, Fred gave a little nod of respect before hurrying onwards.

As the Fred-cat travelled through Hogwarts, he ripped up tapestries, scratched the fine polish on the floors and toppled torches. Finally, he reached Filch's quarters.

Filch smiled down at the Fred-cat as he picked him up and stroked his ears. "Hello, Mrs. Norris. Any students out of bounds? OUCH!"

The Fred-cat scratched Filch, hissing madly. Leaping out of his arms, the Fred-cat then proceeded to yowl loudly and use his paw to hit a Muggle-esque Red Button Of Doom.

Smoke filled Filch's office and loud klaxons went off around the school. Filch yelled and stumbled around, eyes watering. Outside in Hogwarts, a hundred students suddenly started yelling and rampaging through the school with buckets of mud and Everlasting Dust. They were all equipped with masks and voice distorters, so that they couldn't be recognized.

Several went down to the dungeons to spread filth all over the Slytherin Common Room entrance. Others simply ran around the castle, writing giant messages on walls. In the Great Hall, a message seemed to hold top priority with at least ten students working on it:

GRADUATION PRESENT TO YOU, FILCH! HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY!

When Filch's office finally cleared of smoke, he stumbled into his bedroom and collapsed, fast asleep. He had inexplicable nightmares of endless cleaning.

The next morning, he stepped outside his office, stared around at the destruction and screamed with frustration.

Farewell, Hogwarts graduates of Year 1995-1996!


	19. Draco Two PM

**It's sad that I already used my pureblood prank - the one in Kreacher. Oh well, I've got something else for Draco!**

Draco was sulking in his bedroom. His father had refused to buy him a Firebolt, saying that he "was draining the Malfoy vault dry". As if! The House of Malfoy was the richest… except for the House of Black. And the House of that fool, Potter, even though he didn't know it.

Suddenly, a ghost appeared in Draco's bedroom. He was a cruel-looking man with a ferret lying on his shoulders. He glared at Draco, who sat up straight, noting that this ghost seemed to have been a very important person. Draco recognized him from portraits - Brutus Malfoy, the first Malfoy.

The ghost smirked, and Draco's heart skipped a beat - it was the trademark Malfoy smirk, enhanced a thousand times and layered with malice.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy." Draco bowed his head and mumbled, "Yes, sire."

Suddenly the ghost thundered, "You have disgraced the family name!" Draco stared up at him in shock. "What? What did I do?"

"You insulter of non-magical people! Draco Malfoy, you should have learnt the true family history! The Malfoys were the protectors of the non-magical folk, now known as Muggles. And you strut around, a pompous fool, peering down your nose at them!"

"But… but…"

"_Silence!_" Brutus Malfoy took a deep breath and calmed down. Then he continued in a deadly quiet voice, "Your father has been punished already. He has been turned into a muggle, cursed to work forever as a toilet cleaner. You, however, will have a different punishment."

Suddenly, Saint Potter stepped into view. The ghost smiled proudly at the black-haired boy and said grandly, "The Malfoy name will now be merged with the Potter name! Let it be known that the House of Malfoy is no more, and the House of Potter will reign supreme in the Wizarding World!"

Draco's eyes went wide with shock, and his knees buckled. Brutus continued, "You are hereby disowned and stripped of your magic, Draco Lucius No-Name!"

Draco felt something change, and he quickly scrabbled for his wand. Holding it tightly, he cried, "Wingardium Leviosa!"

Nothing happened.

Draco collapsed onto his bed. Malfoy eyed him, then said, "The last part of your punishment has been determined. _Bestia verto!_"

Draco felt himself shrinking and he writhed frantically, trying to scream. The only thing that came out was a high-pitched squeak. He stared at his hands… they had been turned into paws. Draco was a ferret once more.

The ferret scurried out the door and quickly escaped Malfoy Manor. Harry turned to Brutus and inquired, "Should I fetch him back?"

The ancient Head of former Malfoy House chuckled and said, "No. He can discover the hippogriffs by himself. I do quite like Buckbeak; he has good taste in ferrets."


	20. Fleur Three PM

**Hmm. Difficult. I never really looked that closely at Fleur, so I'll just make some stuff up. Plus I'm definitely slap-happy! WHOO-HOO!**

Fleur was walking by the lake, turning on her Veela charm whenever a male passed by. She found it immensely entertaining that they all stopped and stared, drooling slightly. Except for that Weasel boy whose name she couldn't remember.

Suddenly, the Giant Squid reached out with one tentacle and hooked Fleur into the lake. It gave her the squid version of a loving hug while she screamed her lungs out. It seemed that the Giant Squid was a male, too.

Fleur hurriedly turned off her charm, and the Giant Squid dropped her into the lake, repulsed by the half-Veela. She struggled towards the shore, then gave up and started drowning.

Ron saw Fleur drowning and immediately dived into the lake to save her. When he pulled her out, Fleur opened her eyes and stared at Ron. She then proceeded to start screaming so loudly that the Giant Squid splashed nearly half of the water in the lake out in protest.

Fleur thought that she would rather have drowned than owe a life debt to Ronald Weasley.

**Yep, definitely slap-happy. *yawn* NO! Must stay awake!**


	21. Hagrid Four PM

**Well, I feel kind of alone, since no one's reviewing much except for charcoalbrumby, and she already went to bed three or more hours ago. …Three hours ago. So, it's just me, my laptop, a giant bottle of water, a school hat with names from Harry Potter in them and a chocolate bar. All the essentials of a 24 hour one-shot marathon.**

**The biggest kick I'm getting out of this is that charcoalbrumby has to do a 24 hour marathon too, since I agreed to this. I have no idea if she's going to go with the traditional 24 Prompts idea or my Write About 24 Characters idea…**

**Anyway! Hagrid! I like Hagrid, he's awesome. It's sad that I have to be mean to him, but here goes nothing…**

Hagrid was wearing a Muggle gas mask. He wrestled with an enormous Nundu as he bellowed, "Harry, Professor Dumbledore! Come on over here and look at this beauty!"

Harry cautiously came closer, Dumbledore beside him and smiling genially. Hermione reached out to him, pleading, "Harry, no! That's a Nundu, it's rated XXXXX according to the Ministry of Magic and its attacks can be fatal!"

Harry called back, "Relax, Hermione. Hagrid wouldn't bring something in that would hurt me."

Professor Dumbledore turned back and, with a twinkle in his eyes, said, "Remember, Miss Granger. I trust Hagrid."

**A few days later**

Giant tears rolled down Hagrid's cheeks as he placed a few flowers on Harry and Dumbledore's coffins. He bawled, "I'm sure Chocolate didn't mean it, Professor. I'm sure she's really sorry, Harry."

The Nundu just rolled its eyes and roared, sending mourners running and screaming.


	22. Voldemort Five PM

**Well, this definitely shouldn't be too hard. Voldemort bashing and humiliating - something nice and easy for a change!**

**3 more hours until my blessed sleep! I'm definitely never doing this again!**

Voldemort paced up and down in front of his loyal minions. He said in his cold voice, "The Potter boy shall die! I will rend his body from limb to limb and no one shall oppose me anymore!"

They all bowed and murmured, "Of course, my Lord." Many of them kept their thoughts of _Yeah right!_ to themselves.

Suddenly, there was a giant burst of black smoke and a figure in a black hooded robe appear. Everybody shivered and drew back, except Voldemort. Ol' Tommy boy drew his wand, pointed it at the intruder and demanded, "Who… who are you? What are you doing?"

The figure cocked his head to one side, then suddenly said, "Yo, dude! Wassup? You were due, like, fifty years ago! Woah, overdue much? Yeah, anyway, I gotta take you back now, time's up!"

Voldemort was confused. He said, nearly all traces of menace replaced with surprise, "W-what?"

The figure rolled his eyes. No one could see it, but they all knew that he rolled his eyes. He said, "Uh, _duh_. I'm Death, you moron. You were supposed to be dead aaaaages ago, dude! What went wrong? Love life too much? Jeez, you need to find a girlfriend, 'cause Life ain't returning your love!"

Death then cracked up at his ridiculously bad joke. Everybody just stood there, thinking, _Eh-what?_

Voldemort finally recovered and said heatedly, "I refuse to die, Death! I can and I will stay in Life!"

Death just chuckled and said, "Jeez, take a chill pill, dude. Now c'mon, pull yourself together!"

Voldemort screamed as Death suddenly clapped once. Voldemort could feel himself being sucked into Death, and he could do nothing about it. Soon afterwards, the rest of Voldemort's Horcruxes were swallowed by Death too.

Death gave a loud burp and grinned at the dumbstruck Death Eaters. "Oh, by the way, it'll be your turns soon! See you 'round, dudes and dudettes! Don't forget your chill pills! And woah, there ain't no way you can eat me, I'm the only one who can eat anyone!"

As Death suddenly imploded on himself, the Death Eaters just stared at each other.

**Okay. Definitely slap-happy at this point. See you in an hour!**


	23. Snape Six PM

**Snape's all right, I guess. But I can still find some ways to bash him. **

Hermione said in a worried voice, "Harry, this is definitely against the rules!"

Harry just shrugged and said, "I need to prove to Dumbledore that Snape is seriously bigoted and biased."

He downed the Polyjuice Potion, turning into a lookalike of Draco Malfoy. With a sneer on his face, Harry coughed a few times and said in Malfoy's voice, "Right. Give him the Polyjuice and compulsion potions, then come and join me in the Potions classroom."

Ron and Hermione nodded, then started pouring the potions down the real Malfoy's throat. In the meanwhile, Harry perfected his smirk as he went down to the dungeons.

An hour later, Snape finished the Potions lesson. Draco had been exceptionally good that day, and he made sure that everyone knew. At the end of the lesson, "Draco" suddenly stood up and said loudly, "If I could please have everyone's attention!"

Everybody stopped and looked at him, wondering if Draco Malfoy had gone mad. 'Draco' continued, "I have been exceptionally good today, have I, Professor Snape?"

"Yes…" Snape agreed warily.

"Then," the Malfoy lookalike said, "Why don't you say this to Potter?"

If the whole class suddenly jumped up and streaked in front of Snape, he couldn't look more shocked.

'Malfoy' continued, "I am just acting the same as I do every Potions class, sir. Never before have you complimented my Potions skills - except when I have Malfoy's appearance."

'Malfoy' suddenly changed back to Harry Potter. He finished, "It seems to me that you are very biased, sir."

Snape spluttered madly as the entire class filed out.

**I can't write well now… grr.**


	24. Sirius Seven PM

**I like Sirius. I can't bash him, so I'll just have to humiliate him! YAYAYAYAYAY!**

Sirius loped through Hogsmead in his dog form. He was extremely bored.

Suddenly, a little girl spotted him and shrieked in excitement. "MUMMY! Look! A dog! Can I take him home and dress him up and everything? Please?"

Padfoot recoiled and started running for it when he heard the mother say, "If you want, dear. _Accio black dog_!"

The big black dog whined piteously as he was dragged back to the little girl. She screeched happily and started plaiting locks of Sirius' thick hair together, tying them with little golden ribbons.

He was taken to a little out-of-the-way house, near a small patch of forest. Sirius was forced to have a long, soapy bath and several doggy makeovers. Half of his fur was red and the other half was a grey-ish black, with irregular patches of black.

Finally, the little girl got bored and went inside her house for the night. Sirius waited until all was quiet before he chewed the ribbons that held him through and made a run for it.

When he finally got back to Hogwarts, he entered the boy's dorm as a dog. Sitting on their beds were three grinning boys. James stood up and said, "Well hello, Padfoot, old chap! Had a fine time playing dress up?"

Sirius' jaw dropped as he turned back into a human. "You… you knew all this time?"

Remus nodded smugly and added, "Oh, by the way, you look like a candy-cane."

Peter piped up, "An evil candy-cane!"

His whole body was striped black and red. The three Marauders rolled around on the beds and the floor, laughing. Sirius glowering at them and storming into the bathroom simply sent them into hysterics.


	25. Percy Eighth PM

**Well, this is it! My 24 hours (with an eleven hour break, which is disappointing) are finally up! I am NEVER doing this again! (And having said that, I know I will.) Somehow, along the way, I ended up with 25 chapters. Oh well! Thanks to everyone who have been following me:**

**JustinneXD**

**besring**

**And of course, charcoalbrumby, the initiator! Now, on with the bashing of Percy Ignatius Weasley!**

Percy Weasley was very cheerful today. Why? The Minister of Magic, Fudge, had asked to see him.

The Minister! Seeing Percy Weasley! Percy straightened his robes and adjusted his horn-rimmed glasses, trying to look as smart as he could before he entered the Minister's office.

"Ah, Weatherby. Come on in." Percy winced at the wrong name, but entered anyway.

Fudge surveyed the red-haired worker before him and sighed. He said, "Weatherby, I must inform you that you are fired from the Ministry of Magic."

Percy seemed to start choking, and Fudge hurriedly reassured him, "Not that your work has been insufficient, Weatherby. You are just a bit… ah… overenthusiastic. Your fellow workers are greatly aggravated by you."

When Percy still showed no signs of recovery, Fudge sighed and ordered his assistant, "Take him to St Mungos. Tell them that he's in shock after losing his job."

The Minister of Magic leaned back in his comfortable chair and smiled. Now he wouldn't have to put up with that annoying suck-up anymore!

**Once again, thanks to everybody! Have a nice night, or day, and remember that sleep is the best thing on Earth! *yawn***


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